This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
