You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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