I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
