you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
