yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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