I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
