How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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