Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.