Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ