is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
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Can vaginas get frostbite?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???