good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
