What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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