i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
