i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
