Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
