note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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