Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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