you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Michael Bay diarrhea
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
