Yo dont text me then not text me
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize