literally had 100 drinks last night.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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