So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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