Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
