found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't deserve a penis
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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