yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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