The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
