It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
