i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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