I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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