I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
