My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
