Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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