Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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