Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
