i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize