I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize