Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
