he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
