elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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