we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
