I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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