have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
