He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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