What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
That's intense
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
