I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
