I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
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