her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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