just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
