Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
