Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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