gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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