Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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