so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
