the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
