you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
