How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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