I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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