I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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