How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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