my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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