You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she peed on how many people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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