Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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